Recipe: Spaghetti, Egg, Red Pepper, Onions, Tomatoes, Locust beans, Red Oil.
Nothing taste better than Golden Penny Spaghetti 🥺
Dozebel
Freshman year was one of those night terrors, one you can’t wake up from without having sleep paralysis. It felt like an incubus was sucking out my energy till the point of exhaustion or death. The only difference is, there was really an incubus and I escaped the worst death cases in the weirdest way you could imagine.
First off, everything about my department seemed strange to me. They lecturers had weird ways of explaining their courses like we’re meant to know it. Maybe others probably did, and some claimed to have learnt something similar to this in highschool, I didn’t. I haven’t seen this before, all we did was read poems and pick out personified sentences, we don’t do morphology, syntax, or in-depth analysis of literature like I was being taught here. This really made things worse and to keep up, I had to start shedding my old skin, It took me a great deal to unlearn and relearn. Several nights, I would stay up, my eyes glued to the letters on the pages as I fervently jotted down things I deemed useful. Those times, I felt like my head would explode into a thousand pieces and i would look around in fear, would I really make it out of this place?
Those times, food was my savior, the taste of hot, soft flavor melting in my mouth unusually calms my nerves. Food kept me going, food gave me hope, a tiny ray of hope to get away from the incubus sucking out my strength. During lectures, I try to pay attention and be attentive as possible, I try to keep up to tasks and at the same time ensure minimal attention. I am not a people person, I prefer to do things my own way. But in this new society, being alone make you isolated and enstranged from your peers, being alone makes you loose vital informations about your course, being alone makes you feel the overwhelming voices of the dwellers. I had to decide, if being alone would lift me up or bring me down. At first, I tried too hard to acquire and maintain friends and I slowly turned into a people pleaser. To my surprise, I wasn’t comfortable but this is how this system works. I really didn’t want this, I really didn’t want them either. All I wanted was food and freedom from the hands of oppressive learning. Others will say it is because I’m slow-witted that is why I complain bitterly about simple class tasks and everyday lifestyle. in reality, I really am just tired of everything.
First semester exams approached faster than expected, as an overthinker, anxiety started to creep into my thoughts, different voices would wake me up in the middle of the night and laugh at my futile efforts to study what I don’t even understand. Out of fear, I’ll dash into the kitchen to make something, whatever it was, my emotions triggering hunger pains in my belly as I scamper around to quickly cook and devour the only medicine that saves me. At the first bite, when the soft and savory flavor filled my mouth, I would shudder inside. Chewing sounds would fill the air and the tension in my lower abdomen would release slowly. The voices long gone, pushed farther into my head by the gnashing and gulping sounds resonating from my throat.
My recipes were always weird and gross, I loved mixing different ingredients together to get a stronger flavor or an entirely different taste from before. My housemates would complain bitterly about the taste of my food, “it’s too salty, how many maggi did you use, how do you eat like this……” They would go on and rant till I couldn’t take more of it. “Shut up!” I would yell at them in anger, “if you don’t like it don’t eat it, I didn’t cook this for you!” With that, I’ll end the conversation and storm off, leaving them to murmur and whisper.
Like I said earlier, exam is here, and I was told that the first exam determines your stamina and ability to retain your admission in this institution. Failure to meet up to expected standard, you will be withdrawn from the institution. I couldn’t afford that, I couldn’t afford to fail, my family couldn’t afford to send me a second time either, I personally couldn’t afford to go home in shame. So I ate more and read more, devouring everything consumable on sight, both intellectually and physically. Little did I know I had a eating disorder, little did I care about it.
I wrote the exams in one piece but did I make it out in one piece? We’ll find out in the next article. Thank you for supporting, liking and reposting my article on your social media platforms. I couldn’t have asked for more.
Note: the first series of The Session has been completed and a new story titled Soul Whispers is now available on Wattpad. Kindly add the story to your library for updates, Your views, comments and votes are necessary for the success of this work. Thank you for supporting me.
Dozebel 
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